The Trouble With Turkey

I finally bought a turkey. If I had known then how much trouble that blasted bird would be, I think I would have told my mom that we are having a nice Thanksgiving pork roast, instead. Okay, so maybe pork roast and stuffing don't quite work together. Darn it.
This is what happened.
I have been looking for turkeys for the last 3 weeks. You see, every year, Cliff's work hands out vouchers for the birds, any brand, up to a certain poundage. This year, it was 18 pounds. A decent sized feast, when you think we will be hosting my family, my parents, my brother, and my grandmother, plus the essential leftover turkey needed to make sandwiches and turkey enchiladas. Just as a little aside, I think we mainly get the turkey for the enchiladas and just share it with the Thanksgiving Day feast that happens to occur the day before.
Anyway. During those 3 weeks, I have found up to 14 or over 20 pounders. This is probably because like school supplies, everyone else in Idaho Falls is looking for the exact same thing at the exact same time, only I can't blame the turkey shortage on the PTO. Yet.
As another aside, do you know how difficult it is to hoist around turkeys in those big freezer bins while you have a basketball-sized growth right in front of you? And try to keep some semblance of control over your suddenly crazy children? I think it should be an Olympic Sport. Athletes would be required to wear weighted bellies 3 days in advance of the event, so ensure the proper amount of sleep deprivation and possible threat of leg or back cramps during the actual competition. Okay, so maybe it would work better on some Japanese game show. Only it might be to strange even for that.
Anyway. Again. Since I was having such a hard time finding the right size bird (I would have happily gone with 16 lbs if I could have found it), I decided to talk to someone about possibly using the voucher for a 20 pounder and paying the difference. 10 minutes later, I was assured it would be just fine. This occurred last week.
Fast forward to Wednesday, when I finally have time to do the "big shopping" of the week, and decided to finally use the voucher so we will be able to put a thawed bird in the oven next week. I left the house at 9:30, positive that there would be plenty of time to get home, put away everything, play for a little while with boys, make lunch, and drop off a 5 year old at kindergarten. One of these days, I will realize that I am an incredibly naive shopper and need to start the night before in order to make it to kindergarten the next day on time.
I put the turkey on first, and told the cashier about the voucher while pulling it out, and that I had talked to Customer Service last week about paying for the difference.
This is the unbelievable part. She rolled her eyes, head and her neck, and says, "Oh no. Not one of those."
Excuse me? Did you really just say that?
Then she calls for the customer service supervisor, who grills me about who I talked to last week. I really didn't know I would have to verify my story, so I never wrote down names or times. Silly me, I guess.
The customer service lady listens to my story, takes the voucher with her, and the check out process continues. While she is checking out my groceries, the cashier lady tries to tell me that she doesn't think they carry Norbest turkeys, anyway, and I should probably go back and look at the Jennie-O's which are only 40 cents a pound. She also tells me what a pain those vouchers are, and even though people will tell you you can use them anywhere, you can't. I tell her I didn't see any big Jennie-O birds, and continue to put stuff on the conveyor belt. I think I tasted blood in my mouth from biting my tongue so hard, because I wanted to be snippy and say, "Well, isn't it a good thing I came in last week and was told that you DO accept them by another cashier and that mysterious customer service man whose name, rank and serial number I should have saved."
Customer Service lady comes back, and says the voucher is fine. "But this is a Butterball, not a Norbest," the checker argues. I have already told her that the brand doesn't matter when I gave her the voucher, and it's actually written in pretty big font next to the Norbest logo, but obviously the voucher and I don't know what we're talking about, since I didn't take checker lady's advice and get 8 lbs of Jennie-O.
After she is finally convinced by the customer service lady, they then argue about how to ring up the extra amount, and how much it's going to be. I almost yelled, "How about I pay you $20 just so I don't have to deal with this any more, and you can keep the darned turkey! We're eating HAM!!!"
But of course I didn't. While all of this turkey trauma was going on, 2 elders got in line behind me. Plus I have 2 little boys who I have to at least try to act like an adult around. But I sometimes think it would have been worth it.

I'm So Tired

Do you remember when I talked about "Blazing Saddles" not all that long ago? Well, there's another part that I keep thinking about right now. It's Madeleine Kahn singing "Tired" in a parody of Marlene Dietrich. Why do I have that song going through my head right now? Because that's how I feel. I am tired. Not just of playing ze game, either.

This is a picture of the children from the Halloween Carnival at school. You don't want to know how long I've had it, just sitting around, because I have been too tired to scan it.

For Halloween, Nadia was a black cat, with a black shirt, her jean miniskirt, and black leggings, along with a tail, ears, and a bow tie and whiskers. Brandon was a ghost. Yes, I know, big surprise there, and so was Benjamin. So where are those pics? They were never taken. Why? Because I am tired. And I keep forgetting to take pics with the phone because I don't want to deal with a phone sometimes, and simply forget that without it, there are no pics. So I am forgetful and tired.

Why am I so tired? Supposedly, because of the pregnancy and iron deficiency. But I am just too tired to really find out. I think it also has something to do with a little 2 year old who just had a second round of croup, and so has been sleeping in our bedroom where we all freeze but know he is breathing.

I am so tired, I am just ending this post here.

The Great Diet Dilemma

Yesterday, I had my glucose test and blood work done to see if there were any problems that could be controlled and fixed at this stage of pregnancy. The hardest part of this test is drinking that disgusting sugar drink that tastes like flat orange soda in 5 minutes or less, and then not using the facilities for an hour before or during the test.

I am thinking that if women had been more liberated at the writing of the Geneva Convention, when rules for the treatment of prisoners during wartime were outlined, there would have been a section demonizing this practice, along with Chinese water torture. But I survived. I came in with a blood sugar level of 125, when the norms are between 90 and 140.

However, the blood test also showed something that my sister and I have known for quite some time: borderline anemia, that can slowly creep up and be full blown for a while. Being pregnant, and seeing the test, my doctor was concerned and told me I need to take iron supplements. Then she leaned in a little, looked very concerned, and placed her hand on my arm. "I...I hate to ask this, but..are you okay with eating...red meat?"

I have to say that I was a little shocked by this, as it was the way I would expect her to ask if I knew I was carrying alien twins that would someday take over the world. She was really doing her best not to offend me when asking if I eat read meat. It took me a minute to reply that I was fine with it, and even tried to eat it with green leafies and sources of vitamin C to make the most of my iron intake. It's not the main part of my diet, but yes, I do eat red meat.

This got me to thinking how dieting is like asking people about religion and politics. It has now become a very slippery subject to discuss, especially if my doctor who has no problem asking all sorts of very intimate and potentially embarrassing questions, feels she has to hedge around to ask me about what I eat.

Most people I know are either on or have tried a diet of some sort during their life time. So why are we so afraid to talk about it? What's the big deal about following a diet that is so taboo? Or is it restricted to the type of diet?

I know some one who is a firm believer in the Atkins diet. He is diabetic and has been able to lose weight and lower his insulin intake. But, if you think about it, it doesn't technically agree with the Word of Wisdom. That talks about grain being the staff of life, which most Atkins followers don't eat at all in the first stage, and sparingly in the 2nd and 3rd because of the carbs. Is this why so many people are tight lipped about it when they hear it mentioned? Or do they just automatically get the image of some one eating huge, greasy fat pieces of meat, and nothing else?

What do you think? Is there really a trend to not discuss our eating habits in the fear of offending another? Do we look for excuses as to why we follow a certain diet, scared that others might be judging what we put in our mouths? Besides the occasional foot?

Jackolanterns With a Side of Sarcasm

As happens in most households, once the leaves start to fall and the crisp autumn air turns tangy with the smell of woodsmoke, a child will ask when are we going to carve our pumpkin. They may even tell you how many you need and what they will look like when finished. Being the parent and not wanting to deny them this simple request, you go and find the pumpkins that will come home and be a part of your Halloween. Why? Because you love your children, and the great JOY they (the children, not you) get from having the pumpkins. See that look on Brandon's face? Pure JOY. The boy has been asking and telling me for the last 6 weeks that we need multiple pumpkins that look like this or that, and how he would help gut and carve them because they were HIS. This was about 3 minutes into the whole gutting process. He washed his hands (literally) of the project and was done.


Look at Cliff free handing the incredibly small pattern I found on the internet. This reminds me of "Blazing Saddles". Not that someone of my steady and responsible character has ever seen this movie. The sheriff tells the retired gunfighter he needs his help, so the gunfighter lifts up his hand. "Steady as a rock," the sheriff proudly points out to the gunfighter. Then the gunfighter lifts up his other hand, which is shaking uncontrollably, and says, "Yes, but this is my shooting hand."
Cliff was really worried about free handing, but did a great job.

This is for my brother. He cannot be in the room when pumpkins are being cleaned and carved due to a terrible Halloween accident involving 3 bags of candy, a ride in the car while facing backwards, and a freshly carved jackolantern. Nadia had to make a dramatic face and terrible noises every time she either put her hand in to clean out the pumpkin, saw all the pumpkin guts in the big bowl, or saw anyone else cleaning out the pumpkins. She was done after 5 minutes.

Here is Brandon's finished product, courtesy of Cliff's cleaning and carving. Brandon chose the face and told Cliff he did a good job. I remembered after the carving and setting it outside in the wind why I don't do candles in jackolanterns, but it was too late. Tomorrow night, glow sticks, baby.

This is Nadia's finished jackolantern. I cleaned and finished carving it. While hefting around my own pumpkin-sized self. It takes talent for that, folks. Both jackolanterns turned out well, which means no kids cried and told me I did it all wrong even after following the pattern (that happened last year). No easy Dremmel drills for us. Those are for wusses and incredibly smart people who remember they have a Dremmel before finishing all the detail work. Just a good old fashioned kitchen knife to hack away with while chanting, "Never again, never again, never again..."

Nadia's Birthday, Part 1

This is Nadia May Sharp. She turned 8 on October 25th. Do you think she is excited about it? She is wearing her new Sunday dress, with the brown leggings that I didn't know were see-through until she wore them on Sunday. This is why I should not EVER try to buy trendy fashions for any one.

Here we have Nadia making the gift pile. Do you think she might have been spoiled? Maybe. This is the breakdown of the loot (as I remember it):

1.her own library of the Serendipity books (I remember reading those :) !)

2.a triple combination and Bible set

3.a new journal, pens, and a bookmark

4.a Nancy Drew early reader (for elementary age reading)

5.a gift card (WE LOVE VANILLA!)

6.Legos

7.and...

Barbie clothes. That's right, all you reality runway and model shows, you better look out because Barbie is BACK.

We are doing the friend birthday party this weekend and will have more fall updates next time!

Alas, Poor DanDan, We Knew Thee Well

While having dinner at my parents' house the other day, the conversation turned to why I no longer live with my parents. We told my children that when you get older, you might get married or just feel old enough to be on your own, and that was okay. It is always nice to know that you can see your parents whenever you can, and that they still love you, but when you're an adult, you start to want your own space and your own family. Then my dad stressed that it was important to know it is always good to visit and see your parents and siblings and maybe grandparents, too. Yes, I think empty nest syndrome has been hitting them hard, but grandkids seem to help. Then comes this little jewel:

DanDan: "Would you still come and visit me when you get older?"

Nadia: (shocked look on her face) "No way! You'll be dead!"

He just turned 58.

No Tricks, Just Treats

Every year, the YM and YW in our ward do a special Halloween treat night. They make all kinds of goodies under the name of the Halloween Phantom, and deliver them to different houses in the ward. Nadia and Brandon love this idea, so we have our own family version of it. We make lots of treats and deliver them to our neighbors and friends. As you can see from Ben's face, he thinks this is a great idea.

Once again, Brandon decided to make a terrible tower of candy corns cupcake. His words, not mine.

This is Nadia's cupcake. To the untrained eye, it might look finished since it has a healthy dose of sprinkles on top. But then, this would mean you don't know the Queen of Bling, aka Nadia.

Aaah, much better. Don't worry, we are not finished with the fall festivities yet. We still have Nadia's birthday (I can't believe she's EIGHT!!), Halloween, and lots of other fun things before we get to another frigidly cold winter.