Saturday, August 11, 2012

Confessions of an Alone (and maybe lonely) Housewife

I cannot believe that summer vacation is almost over.  I have a hard time believing that school will be here in two weeks. But you better believe that I am ready for it.  Oh so very ready.  These moms that say they are sad about school starting? I am pretty sure they are liars.  Like the big fat kind with their pants on fire.  Unless they are only sad about their kids being older which means they (the moms) are older.  That makes me sad, too.  But not spending every waking moment keeping track of everyone, cleaning up messes, there is a reason you have a towel so please use it, that just exhausts me.

Now, don't get me wrong, I like the warmer weather, letting the kids run out with sunscreen and bathing suits, having picnics, blah blah blah.  Maybe I'm a little too uptight, but I hate dealing with the consequences of their summer actions.  Sand belongs outside, not in their pockets or body crevices where it forms into little disgusting mud balls that look like used kitty litter.  And as much as I love flip flops, it really grosses me out to clean up half torn off toenails that were victims of soccer balls.  There is a reason I am not a nurse, don't they know that? 

Is it bad that I am also excited about not having multiple friends over every single day?  No more "Have you flushed and washed your hands?" automatically coming out of my mouth every time I hear a door open or close.  At least it kept most of the solicitor contact to a minimum this year.  Oh, and the joy of having just one snack time a day instead of multiple voices telling me they are hungry. Every half hour. It truly is the little things in life, people.

I am so thankful for fall, when they have to wear full toe covering footwear.  I am thankful for school, so kids that are mine and aren't mine don't run in my house every ten minutes because they are hungry and hot.  I am thankful for school, so same said children will actually be in school for 6 1/2 hours, and can't bug me about what snacks they want.  Or even better, the cooler weather because they actually stay in their clothes and do not get anything (like the tile, carpet, couch, or my pants that I need to be dry because I have a meeting in 10 minutes) wet.  And why do they not get that when it is time to change into dry clothes, that also means underwear?  WHY?  Summer mysteries like this just drive me nuts.

In all fairness to summer, it could just be part of my nature to be a little biased, since my allergies  are at their worst in this season, and because when I try to tan, the best I can do is look yellow. While pastels may be in right now, the jaundiced look is never attractive.  But really, the broken toenail thing is just a deal breaker, too. Blech.

On a different but some what related note, can I tell you I am excited?  I am excited because my family is gone.  They went down to Utah to finish off the cousin swap we had this week.  I cleaned the bathrooms right after they left, and have been grinning and/or humming all afternoon.  Guess why.  Just guess.  THE BATHROOMS WILL STAY CLEAN FOR A FULL 24 HOURS!!!  Can I hear a hallelujah from the other mothers of small boys?