Patience and Pillsbury

I have just decided that I am sick and tired. Let me tell you why.
My kitchen is now clean. But does it look clean? No. And it is not because of children, either. It is because my kitchen is half torn up and half put together. This is a very confusing look, and a very hard one to clean.
I have naked counter tops that can't come into contact with grease or water, because the particle board will soak them up and we won't be able to lay down the final counter top surface. So what can you put on a counter top that can't get greasy or wet? NOTHING.
My floors are made of textured laminate covered with glue ridges. How do you keep that clean? You have to sweep, then vacuum, then mop, and hope no one needs the kitchen for the next few hours while it dries. And then clean up any residue left by your sponge mop from staples pulling it apart. It's a very vicious cycle.
Now, before I go any further, I need to make one thing clear: this is not Cliff's fault. Okay, maybe it is, but it's because he's responsible both spiritually (his calling) and financially. Cliff has no time to put up what we do have and we have no money to buy the rest of what we need. When we do get what we need, there are often miscommunications about it. Like how I said a spice cabinet would be nice, but just as long as the upper cabinet fit, I wasn't very picky. This turned into, "You WILL make a spice cabinet and have it done YESTERDAY!!! I WANT MY SPICE CABINET!!!" They were too scared to call back and tell us one wouldn't fit.
But fear not, dear readers, this is not a venting session. I have found a solution.
Do you remember a few years ago when people were talking about sponsored events? Like having a wedding paid for by Tylenol or Rubbermaid and they paid for everything? That's right, I am going to find someone to sponsor my kitchen!
I even know how we can make the most of it: they can write their name or little mascot image into the counter tops, back splash, and floor. Can you imagine a kitchen done by Pillsbury? I will wear their colors for the next 5 years and constantly insert their name into my everyday conversation...
Okay, so maybe that's going too far. As much as I like blue and white, the doughboy could be creepy at 2 am. And really, how easy would it be to (Pillsbury) insert their name (Pillsbury) all the time? Guess I just have to be (Pillsbury) patient.