The Trouble With Bribes

I bribe my children. Oh yes, I do and I freely admit it. Bribes have helped me not kill them when I have needed to get something done, like potty training or going to school. I love bribes, and will use the object of the bribe until I have squeezed every last morsel of fun and satisfaction out of its sad, pathetic little bribe body. For those of you who are scorning me or feel I have stooped to some incredibly bad parent low, I just have two words for you. It and Works.

The current bribe of choice is a video. Not any video, mind you, but a cartoon series called Avatar. For those of you who do not know what this is, skip to the end and celebrate the fact that 3 months of your life will probably be spent doing useful things instead of watching this show. For those of you who have seen it, you know it is like the Lay's potato chips of animation and you can't watch just one. It's so bad in my house that Cliff and my dad both ask me to tell them when it's time to watch because they don't want to miss it.

We are currently using this bribe to keep Nadia on track with reading, since it will be part of her grade next year, and because she needed a little push to break her goal of reading for 100 points. She gets to watch a new episode every night she does all of her homework including this extra reading and doesn't break any major house rules.

Brandon is also being bribed with Avatar to stop pouting and crying every time something doesn't go his way. He is a very soft hearted boy, but really, it's one thing to cry over a cousin leaving and another to cry because he didn't get a gold medal on Mario Kart. I can't even get the gold, but I have learned that all I get if I cry about it is a red nose and a headache. Yeah, I'll have the soapbox blog about tough love and sympathy is for suckers another time.

Here's where the difference in personalities and bribe technique comes in to play. Nadia likes to watch new episodes, and Brandon has a few favorites he likes to watch over and over again. So Nadia doesn't care if Brandon is rewarded with an extra Avatar, because he'll watch an old favorite or she'll watch a new one by herself if he's in trouble. When Nadia is in trouble though, I have to use all of my child psychology skills to coax the boy into watching a new one, usually by saying he can watch an old one after. But what else can I do? Watch it by myself with a bowl of popcorn? Okay, so maybe I do that anyway.

There is always a problem with bribes, though. You have to find the next THING, whatever that is. Our next thing will have to be found by the middle of June, at least if we're going by new episodes. We'll see how long I can stretch this baby out. I am thinking of using trips to the pool, unless we have some horrible experience there like mama wearing a swimsuit and NOTHING ELSE. Then it will become the bribe that I never go with them again.