Big Scare With The Little Bean

Let me start this off by telling you that I am pregnant. 14 Weeks. I am due towards the end of January. We are very excited, but I am also very paranoid and nervous because of the 2 miscarriages I have had between Benjamin and now. That is why I have waited to tell people, unless they normally saw me all the time, and were scared I had the Swine Flu or something worse.
I have a wonderful midwife I see, who decided to break her arm and not see patients for two weeks. Why she couldn't have waited until after my appointment to do this, I don't know. I was called the day before my second visit with her to hear this news, and that I had the choice to see a doctor who I like very much and knows me as a patient, or someone I had never seen before and knew nothing of my history. Trying to be nice, I said either one would be okay. So of course I get the one I have never met.
Forward to the next day at appointment time. I was late, I admit it. So I had to wait while all the other good patients who were on time were seen first.
It would have been okay to wait 45 minutes, except I was already paranoid that everything wouldn't be okay, and then there were these obnoxiously ANNOYING children who were not under control at all. Incredibly, they were not mine. Now I don't know about you, but when I tell my child to stop doing something, they either do it themselves or I MAKE THEM. That's the way it works. This lady repeatedly told one of the children to stop doing something, sat there, and then said the child's full name. And continued to sit there. Guess what happened. That's right, NOTHING. All my children do when I say their full name is congratulate themselves that their mom actually remembered something.
Finally time to go in. They thought I was there for a yearly physical. Had to change all the paperwork and exam room. Not a big deal, I thought, because they have to pinch hit for my poor midwife. Get in the room, in comes the physician's assistant, who is all bubbly and happy and excited to see me and asks if I am still nauseous enough to need a prescription. I didn't get one the first time, so why would I need it now? Do I need more progesterone pills? I almost ask, "Do you want to look at my chart?" But I am nice. I tell her that my midwife just wanted me to take them through the first trimester to help my chances of not having another miscarriage. Then she does look at my chart. I see the light of knowledge and understanding finally shine forth from her face.
She takes out her Doppler and goos me up. I hate that goo. You can never get it all off. She goes down low. Then lower. Then still lower. I'm starting to wonder if I should have had a waxing before this appointment. I'm pretty sure my knees are up higher than where she is. Then she apologizes to me and tells me she usually does the physicals, not O/B visits, and she hasn't done one this early in the pregnancy in a long time. You could have fooled me, Jack. She says she has a terrible doppler unit because of this, and will get another one that she knows works better.
Doppler #2 is indeed better, you can hear the difference. She starts down low again, but miraculously, then starts to work her way up. Probably because there was no more low to go. But now I start to get worried. #1 doppler, I think you could have landed a helicopter on me and not heard it with all the static. #2 you start to hear all the normal things, but no heart beat. I tell myself not to panic; it's a little tricky sometimes to hear it at this stage, especially if you don't do it all day every day. We do this for 20 minutes. I am getting sore because she is pushing so hard, but she is sure she heard the heart beat for a second. I hear nothing comforting.
She is very serious now all the bubblyness gone, and tells me she is going to get a doctor and another doppler. Unless the doctor says I just need to go into Ultrasound right away. Then she leaves.
For the next 15 minutes, I to try to avert my eyes from all the cute baby pictures hanging on every wall and even the ceiling, or I will cry. This has happened to me before. One normal visit, and the next, no heart beat.
After these awful minutes, one of the doctors comes in with her own machine, goos me up again, and IMMEDIATELY found the heart beat. Very strong, very good rhythm. Nothing to fear. I almost cry again, I am so relieved.
I go out to make my next appointment, at which I will make sure I am definitely seeing my midwife or a doctor, and am told the finance dept. needs to see me. I think they just need to update my insurance info. Oh no. That would have been too simple.
She hands me several papers and then proceeds to tell me how much my insurance will cover, I need to sign this one to say where I want to deliver, this is the portion we are responsible for, unless it costs more, and then we have to pay that too, and which payment plan do I want? Can I start paying at the end of this month or is August better? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!! You want me to prepay on my baby? Who does that? And after having all my adrenaline sucked up and used by every cell of my body during those terrible 15 minutes?
I try to call the hubby, but no answer. I am still in shock over my appointment and just sign I still don't know what just to get out of there. An hour later I am still shaking, but breathing pretty normally, and that's when I realize I really was in shock. Cliff calls me back and I tell him everything. He gets very grim and goes to see the finance lady, who gets very angry at him. He gets another paper releasing me from any and all crazy actions taken by me that afternoon, and that we will pay our portion. After the baby is here.
And that is why when you find a good care provider, you should stalk them to keep them from any and all dangers, so you don't get stuck with inexperienced physician's assistants who will only end up scaring you half to death. And why you should never go alone into the fifth circle of hell, also known as the finance/billing department. Because they will suck out your soul. And $3,450 in easy to make payments of just $139 a month FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.