24

Have you ever seen the show "24"?  Cliff is watching it during lulls at work right now.  He tried to get me interested as well, but I can't get over the president being the All State Insurance guy.  I keep waiting for him to be in some tense meeting and ask everyone at the table if they are in good hands.  Not the best thing to be thinking during a prison breakout that includes the man who you tried to kill before he plunged his country into anarchy.  Anyway, the show is about a guy named Jack and all the crazy things that happen to him during a 24 hour period as a member of some CIA/FBI/security thingy.  The other reason I can't watch it is because even though Jack may have a bad day now and then with a possible nuke attack on LA during the Oscars, my days are much more challenging in general.  Take yesterday, for example.

0600-0700  Sleeping and then waking up.  Okay, so maybe this hour wasn't the most hectic, but while waking up and going over my to do list, I realized it was going to be a busy day. On the other hand, since I am NOT a morning person, this is probably the most panic-filled hour for the rest of my family.

0700-0800  Get kids and myself ready for the day and out the door for school.  Get the boy I babysit every day.  Plan a trip to the library, and do the dishes sooner rather than later because there is a smell in the kitchen.  I bet Jack never has stinky dishes.

0800-0900  Realize that Caleb may not be cooperative to any plans I have set for the day.  We are on the 3rd feeding of the morning, and have had pears with oatmeal.  Hope the boys don't mind watching Backyardigans while I take care of the baby.  Wonder what is upsetting my allergies so much.

0900-1000  Discover that the boys are puppies named Bolt and Mcgowski.  Don't ask.  Become a puppy trainer and feed them fruit snacks for properly performed tricks.  Is that weird?  Get the library books and a few of ours ready to return to the library.

1000-1100  Get custody of my parents' dog, Sampson, who is part Basset Hound and part drooling vulture. Put dogs in back yard, buckle kids up, and head to library and park.  Go to story time, where we hear stories about owls and make owl faces.  Find books not related to owls in any way and wonder if Jack has tried hooting repeatedly like an owl to get info from terrorists.  It could be a great way to do a "safe" interrogation.

1100-1200  Finish up at the library, retrieve the books from home (thank you, observant library lady!), and come home to start lunch.  Wonder why the kitchen still smells funny after dishes are washed and floor was mopped just yesterday.

1200-1300 Eat lunch with boys, some of whom are more patient than others.  Yes, Caleb, I am calling you out. Wipe down counters and cook top to see if that gets rid of smell.  Read new library books and get ready for quiet time.

1300-1400  Quiet time.  Not that it is, really.  Ben refuses to lay down.  Boy's mother comes to get him and my youngest two so I can take the dog to the vet.  Try to think of ways to pay for vet visit if over $200, and is dog really worth it if it costs $2,000?  Hear pres/All State guy say that she's not in good hands.

1400-1600  Take dog to vet.  Feel like a terrible person for not loving my dog enough, but let's face it, we have a LOT of other expenses and the dog is way at the bottom of the list.  Fill out forms, wonder if I am bad because I don't know if she's allergic to anything, and try to get her to step on the scale.  Visit goes down hill really fast after that.

1600-1700  Get back from vet.  Had no idea the dog could shed that much.  On me.  She just has a cyst, probably nothing serious, we just need to keep an eye on it.  Pick up kids, get them started on homework and chores, am amazed they ask for a snack after seeing them eat popcorn at friends' house.

1700-1800  Benjamin is not potty trained.  Wonder if Karma is blog-stalking me, or if Ben is just trying to get even after I fed him peas last night.  Caleb soldier crawls to the lamp and knocks it onto himself.  Take care of Caleb first because he has a possible head injury and is crying louder.  Ben falls asleep on the couch.

1800-1900  My hero arrives.  It's not Jack.  He takes care of dinner, asks why the kitchen smells funny, and moves the fridge to see if there's anything behind it.  I clean up Ben and the bathroom.  After eating, I start to get a fruit plate ready for Book Club.  One of the dogs vomits.  Cliff cleans it up.

1900-2030  Book Club.  My darling husband takes the kids downstairs and distracts them for me.  Except for Ben, who decides that the ladies upstairs must be pretty bored without him.  Wonder if Jack plays Halo or other violent games after wrestling with mass murderers and other crazies at work.

2030-2100  Get kids in bed and try to keep them there.  Watch a show on Hulu.

2100-2200  Wonder why on earth I am still awake.  And why don't I have a Cherry Coke and some chips? Watch another show.

2200-2100  Finally go to bed, but not to sleep.  Already starting on tomorrow's list.

2100-0600  Try to breathe, try to sleep, realize the two will not work together. Oh well. Now understand why Jack never looks rested. He has allergies, too.