Friday, November 19, 2010

Sibling Revenge

Now that I have talked about all of my sibs, I thought it only fair to reveal a few embarrassing and maybe funny stories about myself, before any one hacked into my account and did it for me.
So what was I like as a child?  Well, my dad used to call me his "Stepford Child", referring that I was perfect.  Unfortunately, this isn't too far off the mark, and it makes for some creepy home video watching.  While some of my other siblings would sit for a few minutes and then start to spin the chair or suddenly do a cartwheel, I would sit in the chair, ramrod straight, with my arms folded. I was so still it's hard to tell if I was breathing.  My parents were "Mother" and "Father", and I enunciated every word like I was on an ESL program.
Did you know I used to be a hoarder?  Oh yes, I was.  And it was those little Pillsbury layered biscuits that I simply had to have.  I would gorge on them at dinner, and when no one was looking, I would slip a few onto my lap for later.  Then I would hide them in between the bed and dresser, or in my sock drawer.  See, Krista, it could be worse.
I used to have that Dorothy Hamill pageboy/bowl cut.  Look it up on Wikipedia and see the disaster that was my hair. I hated how short it was, especially compared to my sister's divinely lovely hair that went at least halfway down her back.  My parents finally let me grow out the back, so I had an almost mullet.  But being the incredibly serious child that I was, you can be sure that even with business in the front there wasn't a party in the back. Maybe a pleasant chat between friends, but never a party.
Did you know that I used to cry while reading a book or watching a movie?  And it didn't even have to be that good?  What am I saying, I still do that. You don't want to know how many tissues I went through when Dobby the house elf died in the last Harry Potter book.  J.K. Rowling is a monster.
So when did I become the incredibly chic, cool, suave and witty woman that I am today?  Ha!  I will tell you: I am the world's best actress.  It is all a front. I am still that little geeky girl just waiting to be exposed.  Which is why I find it amazing that people talk to me on a regular basis and actually invite me to things. 
And now you know more about me. 

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Sibling Memories, Pt 4

John, John, John.  Tonight it is your turn.  Not that you even read this blog, but I certainly could never leave you out of all the fun. 
To start, I must make a confession: I am not, nor was I ever, that interested in The Tick cartoon.  But you were, and I wanted to do something and have something in common with you.  I mean, as great as it was to order Taco Bell with you, you can only talk about how good the bean burrito is for so long before you need another subject.  It was a great tool to get to know you better when we were getting older and didn't have the same friends or same interests even.  Okay, and maybe there were one or two parts that actually made me smile.  "Homer?  The Odyssey?!  Read a book!"
Steven once told me I was so nice that he could demand, not even ask nicely, but demand a million dollars and I would figure out a way to get it for him within a week.  Or maybe 24 hours.  I can't remember the time frame, but it was ridiculous and I am glad he never asked you, because you are really the one who would have done it.  You have always been "The nice one" in our family.  You always got up and made sure every one's soda or popcorn was topped off instead of just taking care of yours, like this older sis so often did.  You are still teaching me all the little ways it's possible to serve others.
Your comedy skills, on the other hand, have needed just the tiniest smidgen of help.  Like the time you told a boy I was dating that I was going to break up with him.  While he was making dinner for our family.  I had no idea what was wrong, other than that he looked a little ill, until after I had sent him out the door.  Of course when your comedic education is based on UHF, Dr. Demento, and Monty Python, there may not be as many people who get the subtlety you strove for.  It has improved with time, and you definitely make me laugh.
Do remember when you didn't like chocolate or anything green, not even green jello or kool-aid?  Let's just say you made dessert interesting.  And Saint Patrick's Day?  Forget about it. But as you grew older, you decided to give things a second or even 5th chance, and you are now quite the adventurous eater.  It's one of the many things I admire about you.
With all of the strong and opinionated people in our family, it would have been easy for you to just follow the path one of us had already set.  You have never done that, not when you were little and had your own language, and not now that you have become older and dj dances.  You were always calm and set in what you wanted to do, not what some else was telling you to do. It's a wonderful quality to have, and you definitely possess it.
So here's to you, my youngest brother who is now a menace to society: if only real menaces were like you, then the world would be a truly wonderful place. Now go and date that girl.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Sibling Memories, Pt 3

When my dad was a little boy, he often told people he would have thirteen little girls.  Little did he know they would all be rolled up into a tiny little ball and named Lauren.
I hated Lauren when we were young.  She was cute.  And I mean she was goldurn stinkin' cute.  I never was.  She had gorgeous long hair and looked amazing in those little frilly Sunday dresses.  I never did.  And she got everything.  You remember Cabbage Patch dolls?  She had two.  Me?  None.  Doesn't matter that I was too old to play with dolls, she got two. When we did home videos, she was the star, even when it was my turn.   
She was a Houdini growing up, and simply couldn't stay still.  But even when she climbed out of her crib and fell on the radiator, she was cute.  When she ate Dad's black licorice and had the juice all over her face, she was still cute.  Incredibly wrong for liking that nasty stuff, but the Licorice Monster was cute. The only time she wasn't cute was when we had to share a water bed and kicked each other.  And that is as far as I will concede on the kicking in bed front, Miss L.
I hate to admit it, but I am still a little jealous of her cuteness.  I have come to accept that she is the cute little kitty and I am the giraffe in the animal kingdom of our family, and that giraffes have some good qualities too, but man, there are days when I really wish the cuteness fairy had sprinkled just a little bit my way when she came and showered my little sis in cuteness.

After high school, Lauren suddenly became fun as well as cute.  Or more likely, I finally matured and realized she was a great sister and we had a lot in common.  We both miss European, especially German, Christmases.  Christmas in the States just doesn't compare. We are both chocoholics and love hot baths and reading.  We like spicy food, and are game to try just about anything once.  Shoes and purses call us by name and speak to us.
We did some pretty crazy stuff and still laugh about it.  There was the time I was driving after we had finally found some chocolate coins for Christmas.  The coins fell on the floor, and Lauren went after them, only to get stuck between my leg and the steering wheel.  Just a little awkward, and of course there was no shoulder, just two giggling girls. She could beat any boy in a belching contest with just one can of A&W root beer.  I'm also pretty sure she was the one who came up with the nickname for "Rainbow Brite", a guy I dated twice.
She grounds me.  I can't go longer than a week without talking to her on the phone. She still makes me laugh and giggle like we're about to do something silly and crazy again.  And I am sure we will.

Sibling Memories, Pt 2

Oh, Steven, where shall I begin?  With the time you shoved peas up your nose to get a laugh, only to discover they were actually stuck?  You always could make anything fun, even when it was kinda scary like not ever being able to breathe out of your nose again.
Or the fact that I now know why mom skipped the gray and went straight to white, because I have a 3 year old Steven of my own and the hair dye to prove it? And what is it with the two of you and always always ALWAYS hurting your heads?
You were always making us laugh and smile growing up.  Unless you were out taking another trip to the ER for stitches.  I remember one summer when you seemed to be making a trip a week there, and of course it was when we were visiting Grandma and Grandpa Soelberg, so not only did it look like you had crazy abusive parents, but that we had fled the country before any of the staff could get the police involved.  I will tell you, I often wondered with all of your head injuries why Mom didn't just do your stitches herself, since she had a sewing machine, because then it wouldn't take so long and maybe the thread would match better.
Do you remember when you almost killed John?  Of course you do.  I don't think that story will ever leave the family story tellings.  But then, you have never doubted yourself or your abilities, even when they involved you being Batman and flying with Robin (John) on the pulley swing.  I have never seen dad run so fast as when you lost your grip and landed on that skinny red headed brother of ours.
Or how about the time you decided to leave the house and take a walk by yourself?  Right after we had moved to a foreign country?  And when dad finally found you, you were eating ice cream by an old man in front of a little shop?  Absolutely no fear.  It is something I have always been a little jealous of, because I second guess and doubt myself all the time.
You could also be incredibly giving.  There was one day when I came home from work in tears because I had lost some money in the till.  My bosses didn't really care all that much about it, but I took it incredibly hard.  You gave me a little stuffed dog that you were going to give to a girl you had a crush on.   A girl who had really bad hair and skin, and was basically black mailing Steven to like her, just in case Sarah his wife is reading this.
But one of my favorite memories is when you were a news anchor in elementary school.  You read that news and turned to face the cameras like a pro. The other kids were lost the whole time, but never you. Boy, there are some guys who never get that professional even when they are paid for it.  And that comb over you had that started right over your ear was the icing on the cake of news announcing perfection.  
I think I will end this now, before the warrant for my arrest goes outside of California.  Oh yeah, being in the sheriff's dept in LA gets you a lot of pull.  Seriously, Steven, I think you are swell.  I'd let you write me a ticket anytime.  But not really.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Sibling Memories, Pt 1

Remember how I am keeping a gratitude journal on Facebook?  Well, it has finally decided to haunt me.  Or at least, my sister has.  You see, I recently wrote on there something about how I am thankful for siblings and all the crazy memories and love I have with and for them, and she called me out by asking me to expound. 
I take the challenge.  All week, I will be writing memories I have of my siblings, and seeing as how none of them live close, except the youngest who I am positive doesn't read my blog because it doesn't have anything to do with Halo or Mario, I can say anything.  Mwah hah hah hah hah!  (Evil laughter)
Tonight, I begin with my brother Jacob, who is currently in Afghanistan, and can not kill me.  At least not for another 10 1/2 months.
Things I remember about him...
I remember when he had braces.  He was the first in our family, and I remember thinking what a cry baby he was on tightening day, especially when there was no more yogurt or ice cream in the house.  Then I got braces on my bottom teeth after my mission, when I was working in the military dental clinic in Germany. Easy peasy, I thought.  Later that evening, I went to institute, where we would have a meal before starting class.  I had taken several bites of soup when the spoon barely tapped one of my teeth.  I calmly but quickly made my way to the bathroom to see how many of my bottom teeth had fallen out from that spoon incident, only to discover they were all intact, even if I had never felt such agonizing pain in my life.  I have never doubted that my brother has a high pain thresh hold after that.
He is a fantastic athlete.  He did cross country in high school, and played on a special "talented" basketball team..  After we moved back to the States, both ice and street hockey were added to the mix. He now runs 6 minute miles, 4 miles at a time, for his regular workout, with some other things thrown in to keep it interesting.
Then there were the times we played GI Joes and Star Wars together (what a nice brother!).  Even after I was done with Barbies, I had a hard time letting those little figurines go, and it was because Jacob made it fun. He was so creative with Legos and came up with awesome spaceships and guns, and had all the cool sound effects to go with them. He let me drive around with him in the trunk of my car (in my defense, there were 9 of us in front, and he simply would not fit),  and he was dragged out of bed like me to watch scary movies with my dad.  Oh, and how many times were we thought to be an incredibly handsome couple when we went to institute together?  Or the lady who took our missionary pictures and I swear pulled out a wooden spoon because we weren't sitting close together?  "Sit closer!  Pretend you like each other!  CLOSER!!!"
Good times, good times.  Keep safe, Jacob, and Ah luff yew.  

Sunday, November 7, 2010

The Little Things

I have been thinking of things to be thankful for this month, in recognition of Thanksgiving.  I think it's a holiday that gets the shaft, being squeezed in between the costumes and candy of Halloween and the Spiritualness and presents of Christmas.  It should be less about the Alka-seltzer and over eating with a football game thrown in and more about how thankful we should be for all our blessings.
It has been in this vein that I have posted something on my status every day on Facebook about something that I am thankful for.  It's been pretty easy so far, and it makes me think more with the "Attitude of Gratitude" mindset during the day.
Something I am very grateful for that I haven't yet mentioned is the humor I get every day as a mom.  I love some of the things my kids say.  They don't always know it, but boy, do they make me smile.
Benjamin asked me the other day if he could have a drink of eggnog.  Oh, we party hard in the Sharp household and have eggnog from October to February, or whenever the store finally runs out.  I told him there wasn't enough for every one, so he needed to find something else to drink.  He sat at the table, started rubbing his chin, and thought.  Then he came back at me with, "I think I would like something that tastes like eggnog." "Like what?"  I asked. I was thinking something sweet, like maybe hot chocolate.  "Like eggnog."
Brandon was complaining to a friend that he (the friend) was better than Brandon in everything.  The friend replied, "That's not true, Brandon.  You are a better reader than me.  Much better."  I was very impressed, and waited for Brandon to thank him. Brandon smiled and said, "What else am I better at?"
Nadia is learning colloquialisms and those little phrases we all say but don't necessarily understand or even get right.  My favorite from her was when I answered a question quickly and she said, "Wow  mom, you got that right off the back."
All the snot, drool, and worse is worth it for those little nuggets and the smiles I get from these four amazing children.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Halloween 2010

 This is Nadia's costume for Halloween.  She was an angel, with glitter in her hair and wings on her back.  I wouldn't let her have a trumpet, though.
 Brandon was a ninja.  So was Ben.  I was going to make ninja stars for them, but then realized that my two boys +  ninja stars = trouble. 
 Ben only wore his whole costume Halloween night.  But he loved putting on the little ninja shirt I made for him.  Uncle John dressed up as a GI Joe.  Ben couldn't leave his gun alone.
This was another costume that Ben's been wearing lately: the knight costume.  He has been fighting me on nap time the last few days, but apparently this dragon mom knows better than the nightie-knight boy.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Nadia is Nine

 Nadia turned nine last Monday.  I can't believe she is so old!  We went to Leo's Place for pizza and the play area, watched "Despicable Me", (very cute) and had a birthday dinner with the family.  Dinner of choice?  Spaghetti with meatballs.

 She just wanted a simple chocolate cake this year.  Maybe she's getting old enough to realize I just make wrecks out of the cakes, or maybe she was more interested in chocolate this year.  I am not asking.

 This was the big present this year:  her very own boombox!  Now she can close her door and listen to music all afternoon and ignore the rest of us.  Wait, isn't that supposed to happen in a few more years?  Are we really getting to the "Tween" stage with all its drama?

Well, at least Caleb is still small.  For now.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Totally Awesome Is Totally Gone

 I must make a confession:  one of the biggest reasons why I haven't posted very much recently is because we just got a new computer.  I am still figuring out what is on here, what programs need to be reinstalled, and how incredibly stupid I am because the programs that are already installed are so incredibly different than what we had before.  I sometimes think that computer programmers hate us normal people and are getting their revenge on us all for not saying hi in the hallway back in school by changing everything they possibly can while still keeping the name of the program the same.
On the left is the new hotness.  On the right is the totally awesome, totally old tower.  It was about 7 years old, which is 3,876 years for a computer. 
 
Funny story- when we went in to stores to look at new models, Cliff told one of the guys that he couldn't tell how much memory the tower had.  It just said something about an eye-teebee.  Come to find out, that means one terabyte.  1 TB.  We knew we were way out of our league after that.
This is the external hard drive that holds all of the memory on our old computer.  ALL of it.  Our new computer has over 10 times the space that our old one did, even with upgrades over the years.

And now that I know my pictures are no longer lost in cyberspace and are posting in a regular manner, let the blogging begin.  Again.