Super Sharp Showdown

I have mentioned a couple of times that my children have superhero nicknames created by Cliff and I. What I haven't told you is that we, too, have these names and the alter egos to go with them. I am Notoriously Evil Lady, and Cliff is Justice Guy.
Notoriously Evil Lady is very similar to the Hulk, just not green. We both made the mistake of getting in over our heads, he with gamma radiation and I with motherhood. It takes a while to get us riled up, and we even give you fair warning, but once the anger comes, look out.
This is what it took to bring out Notoriously Evil Lady today.
Benjamin soaked the bed. The Smiling Terror, as he is known, was wearing a half full diaper that was on securely at the time. This and finding instruments with which to mark the walls are only two of his superpowers.
Nadia, aka Megagirl, was almost late for school. Why? Because she was tired this morning and also needed a 45 minute shower. Megagirl barely had time to finish breakfast and super sulked when I said maybe she needs to go to bed earlier if she's so tired.
Brandon was all about the schedule today. This is the way Anti-Change Boy works. How much longer until 10:30 fruit snacks? After I get dressed I can play the computer for 20 minutes, because that's what I always do, right?
The Smiling Terror decided he needed to go supervise the dog outside instead of eating, and would follow her out and lose his shoes. Now I don't mind him helping with the dog, but when he is supposed to be eating and sitting at the table, this is not appropriate behavior. The smiling terror got a time-out and started to cry.
Did you know that Anti-Change Boy has an ultrasonic whine? Since we were a little rushed yesterday and almost late, Brandon could not stop asking if we were going to be late again and if he would be in trouble. The whine had started during fruit snack time, when Ben took the wrong bag, even though they weren't open yet. It didn't stop until we arrived at the school.
After getting Brandon to school in plenty of time, it was back home to put Ben down for a nap. Then it was time to scrub the step stool that had mysteriously received large globs of kid toothpaste and were starting to dry. Yeah, those dastardly invisible villains who make huge messes and blame them on innocent children had struck again.
Benjamin woke up early and had to sit on my lap. This is when he is darling and I wonder how I could ever consider him a terror. I soon remembered after the other two came home and settled in for snack time.
While helping Nadia get started on homework, I heard a bone-chilling sound: giggling. This giggle means that the Smiling Terror has just struck again. He had splashed out a half gallon of apple juice all over the kitchen floor and table. I cleaned up the Smiling Terror again, and told him no more juice. After talking to Anti-Change Boy about what it means to be a big brother and helping to stop messes, I went to check on Nadia.
Why Megagirl is Mega? She is mega big, mega smart and mega good. But sometimes all that mega just wears down. She is in 2nd grade and reads at a 4th grade level. Part of her homework is to read every day. So what would this mega smart girl choose? Stellaluna? Make Way For Ducklings? NO. A magnet book. The kind you give a 2 year old to occupy them in church or the car. The kind that has one sentence per page, and it reads something like, "It's a sunny day. Everyone is playing outside."
This is when the children should have known that Notoriously Evil Lady was on her way. I had warned Ben and then Brandon. I now warned Nadia. But like poor Bruce Banner who tells the villain that they won't like him when he's angry, my warnings were unheeded by the superchildren.
Notoriously Evil Lady finally pushed her way out, and when Nadia decided it would be better to just be quiet and not read at all for 20 minutes, Notoriously Evil Lady grounded her and made her work on her piano lessons. Then She threatened Brandon that if he goaded Ben on to do one more thing that Brandon knew was wrong, Brandon would get in trouble for it and have to clean it up. Ben got a swat on the cushy diaper and the door was locked, making it impossible to go outside to lose shoes again. And Notoriously Evil Lady did it all with her Sinister Snarl of Doom.
Now what is Justice Guy's role in in epic battle of heroes and villains? Poor Justice Guy has to deal with the aftermath and make sure all wrongs have been righted. And get me Haagen Dazs.