The Benjamin Diet

There has been a lot of talk lately about dieting and watching your waistline. This morning, I realized that I have the perfect solution for anyone who is looking to lose a few pounds.
His name is Benjamin.
Here is how the diet works. You fill up his plate, and that of his siblings. Just ignore all the whines about what they say they don't like, until they actually try it and decide it really does taste good. Then finally sit down with your own plate. This is the great part, because you don't have to worry about overloading it or getting too much of one thing. After you finally sit down to eat, Benjamin will decide he's done with his plate and that your food looks much better. He will sit on your lap with his own utensil and help himself while you try to take bites around him. I think I lose an average of 200 calories by simply not eating everything that was on my plate and fighting him to get the occasional mouthful myself.
This is a two part system, though. We all know that true weight loss also includes an exercise program. Benjamin come in here, too.
Do you know how hard it is to find a 2 year-old's shoes? Especially when he has somehow managed to cram one of them into far corner under the bed or behind a couch? This leaves the second shoe, which is usually hiding under something like a towel or toy in a room at the opposite end of the house. Results are best in a house with stairs, because you will have to go up and down them at least 3 times in order to find one pair of shoes that are the same size and match.
The only problem I have with marketing this system is that it's one of a kind. Benjamins just don't come around and live with anyone, you know.